hiburrrrrrnation

It's a bit cold these days.

Beijing was ridiculously cold. The thing with Beijing was that it was so spread out. The distance between bus stops and subway stations were so much longer compared to Seoul. Because of this, the whole city seemed gray when it snowed. When I got back to Seoul, things were colorful. The snow melted quickly and the store signs that are stacked atop one another five stories high gleamed in the sunlight.

It's cold in Seoul. All I feel like doing these days is sleeping. It's almost like a drug. I try to get as much sleep as possible. Break time, bust time, subway time, home time... I sleep. It's not only physically. My emotions have been yearning for sleep as well. I don't want to feel. It's strange. I spent the last year chasing Happiness. I chased her to this city. I chased her to Cambodia. I chased her in the streets. I chased her with my friends. She held my hand through difficult times and she made me laugh as I explored various options. But now, I've been ignoring her. I've been neglecting my other emotions as well. I haven't talked to Sorrow in awhile. I screen calls from Desire and I've distanced myself from Compassion.

Coldness requires hibernation. During this sleep, this gray period in my life, I'm not so much hoping for but wondering if a little gleam will wiggle its way into my daily grind. My mind has been a wide, gray city of swirling snows... it's been a Beijing. When will it regain some Seoul?