November 13, 2010

letter to the person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain


day twelve.

dear mister,

often times i've thought of "cutting you out." but it's true that blood is thicker than water.

often times i've wondered who you are. who you truly are.
often times i've written down the words i long to say to you. genuine, heartfelt words.

it's so odd to me that i could simultaneously loath, pity and love someone. i'm told i'm the spitting image of you. my mannerisms mirror yours. i've a similar personality, similar habits, similar peeves. i'm proud of the likeness, but irked as well. i respect you in the things you've accomplished, but disappointed with you in your arrogance and selfishness.
one of the things i'm most hurt about is that because of you, i'm disenchanted by members of the opposite sex. unable and unwilling to trust. so you left me with that, you hurt me with it.

but regardless of the pain, i foolishly love you. i've seen those babies who cling to their neglectful and incompetent mothers helplessly because they just don't know better. i know better. i really do. but blood is thicker than water.

as cynical as i've become because of your actions, the counteractions of another guardian has kept me hopeful. and so, i'm hopeful for you.


-linda

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