simply home

I'm wrapping up a lovely vacation at home. Spending time with my family, catching up with old friends and indulging in all my food cravings, I couldn't have asked for a better time. There are no prettier trees, no quainter houses, and no fresher air than in NoVa. Upon my arrival two and a half weeks ago, I told my mother that I felt as though Seoul was my home now. The brief silence before her response told me that those words had stung her heart slightly.

Since then, I've been contemplating the idea of "home." We usually believe home is where our parents are or where we grew up. I've always considered NoVa home. I grew up here since the second grade, lived in the same house since the fifth and created numerous memories and attachments to this area. My homecoming was sweet and much needed. Sweet indeed, and much needed for various reasons.

I thoroughly enjoyed my meetings with an assortment of friends from middle school, high school, college and my young adult life. Meeting with them was like taking a peek into the different stages of my life, allowing me to fondly reminisce the growth, pain and joy I had experienced during each period. It reminded me that I've lived many lifetimes as strangely distinct yet obviously the same person. Separate Lindas in separate lifetimes.

So came time for a gathering of the people I was closest to before my departure from America. Much had changed in a matter to two years. Although I earnestly delighted in seeing my friends and their families, that was also the moment I most wanted to return to Corea. I wanted to return to my own place, return to my job, return to the bustling, busy, blaring vortex of Seoul. I became cognizant of the fact that NoVa was no longer the place I belonged. The realization that my life was no longer where "home" was, hit me with a slowly numbing kind of shot to the arm.

Where was my "home?" Was it where my family was? Where I grew up? Where my friends were? Maybe it's not just one place. Maybe home is simply a feeling you feel. A feeling of sentiment and acceptance. A feeling of comfort and peace. A feeling of joy and excitement. Perhaps "home" is simply where you are loved, a place where you can share love. If so, I believe I will have many homes in the many lifetimes that are before me.