stand still

In the madness of this city, it can feel like the world is swirling around as you stand idly by. The new school year starts in a few hours and I'm not even sleeping yet. It's hard to believe a semester has passed and I am alive and functioning. It was a tough six months, but an unbelievable time of growth and learning. I have difficulty with any sort of retention, whether it be reading a book, watching a movie or even circumstances and events in my life. I guess my brain just doesn't absorb things and I forget quickly. So looking back on the past six months, I can say it was exciting, but when I really think about it, it was one of the most difficult periods of my life. Certain days, I was quite literally stretched to my breaking point and no amount of consoling from friends could bring me out of my self.created despair. Yet, God is always good. He helped me to see that although He cared dearly for me, how insignificant my issues were in the bigger scheme of things. Currently, I feel my heart breaking for people around me. There are so many friends and acquaintances who are fighting difficult battles. They are fighting the good fight and although some fail, they stand up and fight again. I have much to learn from these people.

As I embark on this new semester, I see that my mentality toward my students must change. No longer should I focus strictly on my role of teacher, but also attempt to model God's love for His people. This will be a much more difficult task than simply teaching, but I suppose it is my calling as well... for the time being. I truly look forward to seeing bright young faces and dealing with the quaint, funny questions they bring to me. I also can't wait to see my co.workers who have been so kind and gracious to me. I can undoubtedly say, I am utterly thankful.

Love living.