fork, spoon, knife in the road

It's interesting to see the progress I've made as a human being. Perhaps it's not progress so much as evolution. Lately, I've been wondering if I have made the right choices in my life, if I have been treading the correct path. When I was young, my mother told me to walk the straight and virtuous path, for it was straight and virtuous. However, as expected, I chose my own. One that has been winding, bumpy, and full of potholes. I've had great adventures with amazing people in various places of the world. I've made fantastical discoveries about human nature and life itself. Yet, it seems to come down to the proverbial grass on the other side. Is there more? Is there reason and cause for that straight road?

Browsing through pictures of friends who have taken this path: marriage, family, mortgage, I find myself wondering if I could have painted that picture. I question my position in life. In the simplest of terms, in the most literal of ways, in the least romantic of words, I question if I will ever be married and have a family. The irony is, I'm not even sure I want it.

[a subway ride]

Are we ever truly happy in our lives? Or are we simply satisfied that we’ve reached the status quo and complacent with our successes at the different stages of our lives?

[happy little picture holders in a happy little coffee shop]

Which brings me to my new day’s resolution (since I’ve mentioned before that I don’t believe in new year’s resolutions). To better record the ups and downs of my manic mood shifts, from wanting, desiring, needing normalcy, to craving, yearning, needing something… different. To be honest in my writing. Mostly, be honest with myself in hopes that I can someday settle on an agreeable decision on what sort of life I wish to live. What kind of path I aspire to take.

[my attempt at a carrie bradshaw setup, sans cigarette and sex talk]

But to never forget to be grateful.