top of the world

Ordinary. The thing I feared most when I was younger. I think as humans, we all harbor a secret belief that there is something in us, something innate and inborn and deep-rooted, that sets us apart from the billions of other beings in the world. A naive and foolish thought at most. With so many others, how could it be that I possess something only of me, from me? As impossible as it may seem, I believed it.

Yet, every year, every day that passes by in my life rubs away at that belief, slowly smoothing it down into the slick idea that no one is different, nothing is unique. I was, I am ordinary.

I fight often to stay optimistic and hold fast to faith in others and myself, continue in conviction of love and hope. Mostly unsuccessful in these small battles, I find that time simply reminds me of stinging regrets and dreams unreached. It prods me of hurtful wishes of being smarter, stronger, loving Jesus. But... still...

Maybe I'll get to the top of the world. Some day.